Social Media: The beginning and end of relationships

Social media has killed relationships.

It’s given way to a casual culture – a culture of hook-ups, loose commitment and even looser morals. Introducing Snapchat, Instagram, Tinder … the list goes on. And who’s allowing this to happen? We are. Millennials can’t have relationships because they’re too busy being in a serious “It’s Complicated” with technology. Not convinced? Go to dinner. Who’s sitting at the table with phones in hand? Go to Starbucks. Is there anyone waiting in line NOT on their phone? If we don’t set our phones downs and look at the people across from us, we are doomed.

Take a look at our grandparents. The generation that has been married for 30, 40, 50 years. I know this is shocking, but they didn’t text each other. They wrote letters. They wrote their thoughts down on a piece of paper, mailed it and the recipient read it in three to four business days. Phone calls were made. There wasn’t time for casual because people were too busy being intentional. There was no miscommunication. And it was really, really hard to pursue multiple relationships at once because those things took a lot of time and effort. Now, where is effort? I don’t see it anymore.

Don’t get me wrong. I went to Christian elementary, middle and high school. After that, I went to a Christian university. I have been immersed in a culture that is very pro-commitment, and I’m thankful for that. I am not saying that my dear friends that are married and engaged have no chance. They are the few, the outliers. That’s not normal in our culture. According to this article, only 26 percent of 18-to-33-year-olds are married — compared to our grandparents’ generation, 65 percent of which were married at those ages.

So what’s normal? My friends calling me crying because they’ve found out their significant other has a Tinder and is talking to other girls. And worse, lying about it. People that are in serious relationships and sending harmless (and questionable) photos to the opposite sex via Snapchat. Those that text multiple people at the same time, but with the same intentions for each. Things are so incredibly casual and messy it’s hard to see what’s real.

word

And what’s worse is our culture supports this. It’s all about the moment. What feels good and makes sense in the moment. I’ve seen great relationships and marriages ruined, and social media sparked the fire. And it’s okay that it’s happening as long as it’s not happening to you.

I’ve been in several situations where the guy I was ‘getting to know’ was also getting to know other girls … and lying about it. In this world, we are always looking for the ‘next best thing.’ Why have just have one? Who needs commitment? Who needs a phone call when you can text whoever, whenever. Who wants to take someone out when they can just go to a bar? People go in and out of relationships like it’s going out of style. There’s a new person on their Instagram every month. To me, it’s just a waste of time. It leads to mistrust and confusion. I am tired of people ‘caring’ about someone and then talking to other people, swiping on Tinder and Snapchatting or Facebooking the opposite sex. Forget it. Count me out. No thank you.

I know no one is perfect. I know that we are saved by grace by the One that is perfect. But just because we are a sinful people doesn’t mean we can just do whatever feels good. It’s time to step up. If you aren’t ready for a commitment, that’s fine. But leave someone’s emotions out of it. If something doesn’t change, our future looks pretty bleak. And bless the generation after us. We are going down a slippery slope. It’s time to stop making excuses, trying to be people who live in just the moment and have little regard for the aftermath. I’m not saying you have to get married, but set down the phones for a second … log off the computers … come back to reality. And be intentional. I’m ready to say goodbye to this hook-up, heartbreak culture.

Advertisements

The Great Gatsby.

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

I had been waiting since Christmas, the time when the movie was suppose to come out and yet here it was May and no Great Gatsby. Finally, the announcement came that it would open May 10. I could hardly stand it. In high school, one of our required reading books was Fitzgerald’s classic — The Great Gatsby. I fell in love that year, with his writing, romantic words and crazy characters.

So yesterday was May 10, and of course I was at the theatre. I could not wait to see the book brought to life. Yes, I had seen the original movie, but this was Leonardo DiCaprio.

ImageFound via Google

I mean, look at him — he’s beautiful. Needless to say, the movie did not disappoint. The costumes were fabulous and extravagant, the characters were perfect and the entire soundtrack was amazing. I left the movie smiling. Now, I know that it received awful critic reviews and I mean awful. But I never do really seem to agree with those critics anyway.

So I say to you, go and see The Great Gatsby for yourself and fall in love with the beautiful, enchanting and heartbreaking story. And at the very least, do yourself a favor and watch the trailer.

And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.

There’s no easy button

When I was in middle school, I became a part of the newspaper staff. It was a complete joke and a mess of a publication, but I was in love. Writing had always been my strong point, and I was able to channel my enthusiasm for the written word through the middle school publication. 

Flash forward to high school where I became the News and Feature editor for our high school newspaper and Sports section writer for the yearbook. All my friends were wondering what they would do in college, but I knew– I had always known. It became clearer when I entered into my freshman year of college as a Journalism and Mass Communication major at Samford. I grew more and more excited about what my career path would hopefully look like. Then it hit me. Many of my friends were nursing majors, or pre-pharmacy … etc. It seemed to be all people talked about — the “hard” majors. 

Do not get me wrong. I adore all my friends, and I understand that nursing school is no easy task, but that did not make my major any less important. Writing is hard. No, it’s not scientific equation hard, but everyone has their downfall. I have learned a lot these past three years of college, but I have gained the understanding that every part of college is a challenge. There is not one major that is more difficult than the other — each have their own issues. 

By understanding that, I am more sympathetic to my fellow companions in school. No matter what our career paths will look like in the future, the Lord is in charge. 

Tagged , , ,

Mrs. Degree

Going to a Southern Baptist university, I am constantly surrounded by many like-minded Christians such as myself. I enjoy the atmosphere here, and I couldn’t imagine myself anywhere else. Most of the time, I agree with the ideas of those around me but there’s one topic of conversation that makes my blood boil. It’s that women here go to school to get their Mrs. degrees– meaning, they just want to get married and be stay at home moms ASAP.

Hold up. No, that cannot be possible. Why would anyone want to do that? Funny thing is, a lot of my peers are engaged. I’m talking freshmen, sophomores, juniors and seniors. No matter the age, students are getting engaged. I’m all about doing the Lord’s will and his timing being perfect but I seriously cannot imagine being engaged right now and I’m 21. 

Forget that. And yet, I hear all these stories and see pictures on Facebook of these smiling couples and those shiny new rings. And it makes me almost want that. Almost. But then I snap back to reality and realize we have our entire lives ahead of us. What is the rush? For me, I want to be out of college. I know not everyone is the same, but what are you going to do? Live in married housing and go to class together? No, that’s most definitely not for me. 

Tagged , ,

Do Something.

As a junior in college, I spend a lot of my time thinking about my future after graduation. Time really does fly in college, and I can’t help but wondering where my life will take me after May 2014. I believe that where you go to college does help, but it is all about experience. 

Both my freshman and sophomore years of college, I have had internships. I highly encourage anyone looking to have a job after school (which should be everyone) to have some experience. It never hurts to apply for 1 or 100 internships that sound interesting to you. Test drive your career. See what you like and what you don’t like. There’s no such thing as too much experience on your resumé. 

I find that a lot of times students don’t want to apply. You all, that is the easiest part of the job. You definitely won’t be very successful post-graduation if you can’t even send your resumé and cover letter to an employer for an internship possibility. That’s what I call…

Image

So you’ve been warned. Get out, search for what you like and APPLY. You might be pleasantly surprised by what you find. 

Tagged , , ,

Stress Mess.

“I’m stressed about being stressed.”

Image

I found myself saying this to a friend a few weeks ago during midterms. There’s something very wrong with that sentence. In college, I’ve heard the word ‘stress’ more ever. I don’t know if it’s the commitments, homework, projects or activities but there’s something in the water at college that causes many a student to stress. 

After reflecting on my activities, I have found that I am overcomitted. That’s is one of the reasons why I feel so overwhelmed when it comes to school. College is a full-time job. Whoever said college was all fun and games was a liar. That being said, I have decided I need to not only let go of some of the things I’m involved in, I also need to focus on what makes me happy. I’ve come up with a list of things that help me to de-stress. 

  1. Running
  2. Quiet time with the Lord
  3. A good cup of coffees hared with a friend
  4. Quick online shopping fix
  5. Phone call with my mom

It’s easy to stress and get ovelmed. What I’ve decided to do is not let stress rule my life. College is hard, but so is life. It’s time to focus on things that put me in a better mood and help me to refocus my attention on my to-do list. 

Handicap Spots

At Union, a good parking spot is hard to come by. Granted, there are numerous lots around campus but many are handicap or marked for faculty. I know Union is not a huge campus, but driving all around looking for a good spot gets old. 

Students, and faculty as well, have gotten caught parking in the handicap spots by Safety and Security. The first offense is given a warning but the next comes with a price. I will say that I try to avoid those spots but sometimes I do park there if just running in to the mail room or a dorm. 

Last weekend, two of my friends parked in a handicap spot by the Hope complex. After getting out of the car, an Aramark worker proceeds to call out to them and says something like, “Hey! You all are not handicapped! Why are you parking there?” To which one of the women replied, “Yes, I am.” 

That worker was offensive to my friend because she did have a right to park there. At age 10, Ashley was diagnosed with cancer in her leg, and stayed in St. Jude Hospital in Memphis, Tenn., for her treatment. After numerous surgeries, she is left wearing a boot. Her car has a handicap tag. The other woman with her, Heather, immediately e-mailed Aramark both at Union and nationally to tell of the incident. For both, it was disheartening that this would happen at Union. He had no right to call out to either of them, especially when it was obvious that Ashley was allowed to park where she did. 

Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
Martin Luther King, Jr. 

Crystal Ball.

Oh, how I wish sometimes that I could see the future. I wish I could step back from my life, and take a peak into what is to come. Stressing out about job opportunities, housing and where my path will lead happens on a daily basis. Being a junior, I am starting to feel the stress of graduating. I hear whispers — whispers from my roommates, friends and parents that communication jobs are few and far between. I won’t find a job. I won’t get the one I want. I should have been a nurse. I should have been something, anything besides a public relations major. What even is a public relations major?

Image

But that is when I have to tell myself to breathe, and to stop worrying. Luckily, I am not in control of my future and my destiny — I have someone who has gone before me who has the very best planned for my life. The Lord is in complete control, and I so often forget that. I get caught up in my daily to-do list that I forget to pray for peace. I forget that I am not in control. 

This day, and everyday, I will choose joy. I will choose peace and be at rest. My mind will be calm at the thought of someone greater than me in control of my existence. I am thankful.

 Image

I’m Feeling 21

Yesterday was my 21st birthday. This is my last milestone until 30, and that idea is quite scary. To say yesterday was amazing would be the understatement of the century. I am so blessed to be surrounding by loving friends and family that are a constant encouragement to me. I was overwhelmed by the love I felt yesterday with the cards, sweet words and presents. My roommates even decorated my door and room. 

 

It is moments like these that will make me miss college immensely. Somedays I am so ready to pack up, grab my diploma and hit the road. But others, like yesterday, help me realize that relationships have been built here that will last a lifetime. I cannot take these memories for granted. A wise man once told me that, “These will be the best four years of your life.” Thanks Dad, because you are right.

 

Now, my favorite part is showing off some of my favorite photographs from the day. Take a peak of what my world consisted of in my moment of birthday bliss.

Image

Image

Image

Sweet goodies and friendships abound. 

 

Bug Infestation

Here on Union’s campus there has been quite the bug problem. And no, I’m not talking about the actual insects. It seems that the stomach bug has hit and it has hit hard.

This past weekend, resident advisors ask their residents if they were sick or healthy. The true outbreak was noticeable Monday morning when faculty and students alike were met with empty chairs in their classes. Shortly after, classes were cancelled for the rest of the day Monday through Tuesday and would reopen Wednesday morning. Students rejoiced. Well, those who were not laying in bed with the dreaded bug. 

It was noted that over 200 students were infected by this virus formally named the Norovirus. Most of Union was dosed in Lysol and shut down. Campus became a ghost town. Luckily for me, my apartment off campus provided the perfect safe haven from those infected — some of which included my best friends. 

Fox Memphis took the trek to campus and reported what they saw. 

And even Union students were making a joke of it by patrolling the sidewalks and shouting, ‘bring out your dead!’ Image

I do not want to jinx myself but it looks as if the worst is over and I have not fallen yet. I took the proper precautions like cleaning my room with Clorox wipes and washing my hands constantly. Honestly, it was refreshing to have those two days off of school. Maybe the outbreak can be seen as a sort of blessing. It is too soon to tell.