Social media has killed relationships.
It’s given way to a casual culture – a culture of hook-ups, loose commitment and even looser morals. Introducing Snapchat, Instagram, Tinder … the list goes on. And who’s allowing this to happen? We are. Millennials can’t have relationships because they’re too busy being in a serious “It’s Complicated” with technology. Not convinced? Go to dinner. Who’s sitting at the table with phones in hand? Go to Starbucks. Is there anyone waiting in line NOT on their phone? If we don’t set our phones downs and look at the people across from us, we are doomed.
Take a look at our grandparents. The generation that has been married for 30, 40, 50 years. I know this is shocking, but they didn’t text each other. They wrote letters. They wrote their thoughts down on a piece of paper, mailed it and the recipient read it in three to four business days. Phone calls were made. There wasn’t time for casual because people were too busy being intentional. There was no miscommunication. And it was really, really hard to pursue multiple relationships at once because those things took a lot of time and effort. Now, where is effort? I don’t see it anymore.
Don’t get me wrong. I went to Christian elementary, middle and high school. After that, I went to a Christian university. I have been immersed in a culture that is very pro-commitment, and I’m thankful for that. I am not saying that my dear friends that are married and engaged have no chance. They are the few, the outliers. That’s not normal in our culture. According to this article, only 26 percent of 18-to-33-year-olds are married — compared to our grandparents’ generation, 65 percent of which were married at those ages.
So what’s normal? My friends calling me crying because they’ve found out their significant other has a Tinder and is talking to other girls. And worse, lying about it. People that are in serious relationships and sending
harmless (and questionable) photos to the opposite sex via Snapchat. Those that text multiple people at the same time, but with the same intentions for each. Things are so incredibly casual and messy it’s hard to see what’s real.
And what’s worse is our culture supports this. It’s all about the moment. What feels good and makes sense in the moment. I’ve seen great relationships and marriages ruined, and social media sparked the fire. And it’s okay that it’s happening as long as it’s not happening to you.
I’ve been in several situations where the guy I was ‘getting to know’ was also getting to know other girls … and lying about it. In this world, we are always looking for the ‘next best thing.’ Why have just have one? Who needs commitment? Who needs a phone call when you can text whoever, whenever. Who wants to take someone out when they can just go to a bar? People go in and out of relationships like it’s going out of style. There’s a new person on their Instagram every month. To me, it’s just a waste of time. It leads to mistrust and confusion. I am tired of people ‘caring’ about someone and then talking to other people, swiping on Tinder and Snapchatting or Facebooking the opposite sex. Forget it. Count me out. No thank you.
I know no one is perfect. I know that we are saved by grace by the One that is perfect. But just because we are a sinful people doesn’t mean we can just do whatever feels good. It’s time to step up. If you aren’t ready for a commitment, that’s fine. But leave someone’s emotions out of it. If something doesn’t change, our future looks pretty bleak. And bless the generation after us. We are going down a slippery slope. It’s time to stop making excuses, trying to be people who live in just the moment and have little regard for the aftermath. I’m not saying you have to get married, but set down the phones for a second … log off the computers … come back to reality. And be intentional. I’m ready to say goodbye to this hook-up, heartbreak culture.